1. Cancelling Dave Chapelle for jokes on stage meanwhile here’s John Mulaney’s last year: Drug addiction, affair, divorce, got new girl pregnant and already left her. Love him on stage but his career won’t suffer for a second.

  2. Wore my new Bears hoodie into my show in Wisconsin tonight. This guy told me I shouldn’t be wearing that there. I said, yes I should, our teams owner lives here, his name is Aaron. He then left me alone.

  3. Dear Telemarketers, I know nobody likes you or respects your career choice. Leaving us voicemails is only going to make it worse. -MikeyPoo

  4. For 2022 I’m hoping to hit any of following and can even throw them on the calendar now if I can get shows: Alaska, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Oregon, Washington, Georgia, South Carolina. Basically gonna book whatever I can get locked first.

  5. My last new states for comedy this year are next month in North Carolina, Virginia, and West Virginia. Those will put me at 35 total and the goal for 2022 is to get up to 41.

  6. I’m not saying OJ Simpson is an influencer, I’m just saying the new Ford Broncos cost a little less money if you get a white one.

  7. I know you mean well but I kindly ask that you not post pictures online of your meals and vacations. Good or bad I want to politely let you know it’s not helpful and doesn’t feel good. Much respect.

  8. I didn’t bet on the spread for the Bucs/Eagles game but why on earth does Hurts go for 2 there and the Bucs trying to run out the clock unless they are trying to help the Bookies?

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